Have you noticed how much time you spend on devices when you are in your partner’s company?
Do you ever hear complaints such as “Are you even listening to me?” or “Do you have to keep looking at your phone during dinner?” In our busy world work can really start to creep into home life and not only increase stress levels but severely impact partners and children. Of course it is not just work related technology that can impact our connections.
How often do you go out with your partner to a café or restaurant then spend the whole time looking at your screen? Maybe your kids even look at theirs at the same time. Notice those around you when you go out and you will see that increasingly it is not unusual for people to be seated then immediately take out their phones and not say another word!
So what’s the big deal?
Many couples come to counselling with communication as the number one issue. If you think about effective communication, it involves aspects such as eye contact, positive body language and verbal responses which indicate you are hearing what is being said. All of this is difficult when you are staring at a screen and actually not listening at all.
Try to have a “technology free” time each night. It may be for half an hour or an hour during which you talk with your partner, cook dinner or clear up the kitchen. Practice actually sitting and looking at the other person while they are speaking and notice if it increases the feeling of closeness or just the experience of being heard.
Try investing in your relationship for just a short while in this way and you will be pleasantly surprised by the results.